I stopped by the walk in clinic on Wednesday. Stupid me. Thinking that as Hometown is short of Drs, and there is a purported abundence of them in Worktown, I made the logical choice to go to a clinic in Worktown. 3 fucking hours later, I have a diagnosis of a viral infection in my throat, voice box and bronchials. Note, I said viral. As in, there is nothing we can do for you, so just go home and try not to suffer too much. He prescribed me some green stuff to gargle with. Which would be fine, except this stuff foams up as if it is mostly soap, and runs down my chin. I look like a fucking rabid martian ( pay attention now, I did say it was green after all. ) So to hell with that, and Im taking cough syrup and ibuprofen. I still have some of the lovely T3's from my surgery, but somehow, going to work stoned is just not nearly as good an idea as how fun it might sound.... More on that later.

Christmas lights now up. I refused to put them up before December. Remember, folks, this is supposed to be the celebration of Christs birth, not Mary's last trimester. Seriously. The Xmas decos were in the store at the SAME TIME as the Halloween ones. Sorta fucked up to see Santa right there next to the hooded dude from those "I know what you did" movies. Or is it?

Cock a doodle DONT

Seriously
5 am is NOT a time I want to see on my clock.

Drove hubby to work this am so that I could use his car. We are fine as long as it doesnt snow, as hubby will drive the plow truck for work until my repairs are done.
DD slept all the way to hubbys work and back. DS slept on the way there, and played game boy on the way back. Deal was he had to get -some- sleep and could play on the way back. Little bugger woke up as if some one had shoved an alarm clock up his behind. He has stated, without a doubt, that he is a night person. Like his daddy. I USED to be a night person. Then I had kids who insisted on getting up every morning to do mundane things like, oh, go to school, etc. Never mind the fact that I had to get up for work. I do NOT do mornings well.

Oh.

And Tim Hortons has discontinued the holiday shot, at least around here. That bloody well sucks, as it was yummy. Ok, so it gave me diarrhea. I DONT CARE!!!! It tasted like yummy hot eggnog.. the coffee, not the diarrhea. dont be gross.

Just kill me now

Because, as if I dont have enough to deal with, I just found out that the head gasket on my car is blown. And the head may be cracked.
As I said.
Kill me now.

More later.

Off the charts

What exactly is it about my children that can send me from being a relatively calm, normal human being, into a screaming mindless banshee?
Oh yes.

The very existence of the little buggers.

And I quote

"Mom, he looked at me"

"Did not"

"Mom, hes trying to get me in trouble"

"Shes drinking right out of the water cooler"

"Hes tattling"

"I am not. Shes gross."

I could go on. By why should I inflict my insanity on you? Oh. Because I can.

And the dogs just add to it. Im sure if I could speak woofer, I would hear nearly the same conversation from our two dogs.

Can vodka be a hobby?

Sam I am - disclaimer - this title has nothing to do with my post.. some character on TV just said it!!

Mama Mia.. here we go again.. my my how can I forget you...

I love that musical.
How geeky of me.
ABBA. Saw it twice. And must say, its true. If you see a musical ( or any stage production really...) and you love it.. DONT go see it again. You WILL be disappointed. I was.

Phantom. Saw it once. clever of me, really. Again, loved it. Cats, same thing. I want to go see Wicked, but my SIL said it sucked. Shes a bit of a homophobe, so who knows.

Erm.. On a side note.. I should take a dog to work tomorrow. I have wicked gas, and only when there is a dog nearby to blame it on am I really happy. Dunno what the hell I ate, but it was a bad idea. DD is pooping flourescent green. Seriously, she calls me from the loo.. "Mommmy... a SLOPPY ONE!!!!" ew. Need I say more?

Ketchup in my Pie?

No, thanks, dear.

Seriously, thats the conversation that took place between my and DD just moments ago. Apparently all pies in her world require the addition of 3 drops of ketchup. No more.. no less. Mind boggling.

Hubby is out picking up dinner. Chinese for me and him, and Subs for the kiddies. Apparently, subs must have exactly 3 pickles for my son. Weirdo.

I started Christmas shopping today. Too many parents wandering around wallyworld with a glazed look on their faces. I stood in the toy aisle watching one little bugger shaking a mounted lego display back and forth. Mommy told him to "st0p it darling, before you hurt yourself" Yeah. Ok. Did it come as surprise to anyone when the little bugger ripped the whole display from the shelf and sent it all crashing to the floor? Mommy Dearest turned and looked at her little darling and asked "Did you do that?" I looked at her, with my patented "Are you fucking stupid?" look, and said "In a word.. yes." She bent to clean it up, and another super mommy came up the aisle, saying to her angelic little cherub "Mommy will help this lady clean up" and shooting me the "You could help too" look. To hell with that. My kids are at least smart enough to run for the hills when they trash a display. Dont stick around for the fall out is my motto!!!!

I managed to get a start on my shopping, but soon found myself running for the checkouts, as a matter of self preservation. So I have a trunk full of stuff that I have to sneak in and lock up under the stairs while the kiddies are asleep.

I wonder where MY presents get hidden?